So Gorgonmilk has breathed life into Petty Gods. What would I submit? What has been submitted so far? Don't know, but in looking around I see several interesting entries. There appears to be two camps: the serious attempts at creating gods for things too obscure for a full fledged church (eyes - and no offense, it's a great write up) and things that are just ridiculous (unexplained smells). Personally, I much prefer the ridiculous.
Would you rather see a write-up for the Master of Wagon Wheels or the Lord of Iron Spikes and Iron Rations??? Do you need the details for the Patron of Town Criers or the St. of Sex You Hope Your Fiends Don't Find Out About. The god of Picking Locks or the Protector of Familiars? The Supreme Being of Cozy Beds or He Who Procrastinates (and thus will not appear in the book)?
I suppose my main fear is the the stat block (can I pray to that god?). I have no idea what is appropriate...so here is one attempt:
Name: Mar Nod
Symbol: Two crossed swords, one breaking the other
Movement: 120' (40')
Armor Class: Special
Hit Points (Hit Dice): 150 hp (20 HD)
Attacks: (short) spear +1
Hoard Class: XXI
Mar Nod, the Unexpected, is the petty god of rare and seemingly random fortune and misfortune during combat. Both cursed and praised when melee a battle takes an unexpected turn, Mar Nod is incited too infrequently to garner a true following. He travels the multiverse looking for worthy opponents and may be summoned (1%) whenever a natural 1 or 20 is rolled during combat. Mar Nod appears as a warrior appropriate to the given circumstances but wields an obscure bladed weapon with an unusually long handle. This unique weapon is never subject to a critical fumbles and scores a critical hit on rolls 18-20.
Reaction Table (1d20)
1 Curses the summoner - when rolling to hit roll two dice and take the worst value, when rolling for damage roll the value twice and take the better. This curse stays in effect until cured with a Remove Curse or the likes.
2-19 Mar Nod does nothing but observe the battle with a bemused look on his face
20 Blesses the summoner - when rolling to hit roll two dice and take the better value, when rolling for damage roll the value twice and take the worst. This blessing stays in effect until cured with a Remove Curse or the likes.
Attacking this divine being is a terrible mistake although Mar Nod will engage with gusto. Every attack against him has a 50% of missing and all misses are treated as critical fumbles. Any hit has a 10% chance of being a critical hit. Any critical hit against Mar Nod heals him instead. After 1d6 turns he will grow bored and simply disappear.
Sample Critical Fumble Chart
1 Sign of weakness, all nearby opponents will target you on their next turn
2 Save vs Petrify or Paralyze or drop your weapon
3 Swing wide, if there is an adjacent friend or foe, roll to see if you hit them instead
4 Ruined, mundane weapons are destroyed and no longer usable magic weapons loose their enchantment until the end of the next turn (subject to an optional save)
5 Disorientated, you loose your next turn
6 Pulled a muscle, take 1d3 point STR damage until you can rest at least 8 hrs
7 Broken, the weapon is -1 to damage until you have time and materials to repair it
8 Easy to predict, -2 to hit opponent on next turn
9 Strained something, take 1d3 point DEX penalty until you can rest at least 8 hrs
10 Bent, the weapon is -1 to hit until you have time and materials to repair it
11 Misdirection, you hit yourself, roll for damage normally
12 Off balance, your opponent gets +2 to hit you next turn
Sample Critical Hit Chart
1 Stunning display of prowess, force moral check (or all opponents will avoid you if possible if moral is not used)
2 Disorientating hit, opponent's AC is 2 worse on next turn
3 Powerful swing, roll to hit an adjacent enemy, too (if there is one)
4 Solid hit, add 1d6 damage
5 Deep wound, opponent continues to take 1 pt of damage each turn until healed
6 Trick shot, opponent looses next turn
7 Brutal hit, double damage
8 Crushing blow, opponent must save vs Petrify or Paralyze or fall prone
9 Fierce hit, roll damage twice
10 Staggering blow, gain +2 to hit this opponent next turn
11 Mighty swing, opponent is forced back 5 feet
12 Precision attack, opponent must save vs death or die